You don’t have to smoke tabs to be cool, but it definitely helps. Kids, if you’re reading this, remember it’s never too young to take up smoking and  everyone will accept you and love you and invite you to their parties if you do. See how smoking helped this guy be cool.

This is way too long, but it’s fucking cool. Someone commented that it’s like being on LSD (Hoffman RIP), but they have clearly never been on LSD. LSD is hilariously funny, this isn’t. They do both go on way too long though.

Apparently there is this thing called Cultural Relativism. What it means is that you have to be tolerant of other cultures because what is hilariously and pitifully poor in your own country may be acceptable in someone else’s and so don’t be a cunt. The thing is now there is the Internet so we all have to conform to American standards which are annoyingly high. This fails.

To be honest, calling whoever is responsible for this fuckup a fucking fuckwit is charitable in the extreme. Absent-mindedly picking up a burning hot pan off the hob is being a fuckwit. This is so indescribably fuckwitted that trying to quantify it in words it is like trying measure outer space with a fucking tape measure.

The Internet loves its kitties. In fact we will probably discover, 2000 years hence, that the Internet was created by kitties as a sort of big public relations device to ensure humans never got sick of kitties and started stamping on their little heads instead of feeding and stroking them. In fact, it will probably be revealed that kitties are alien life forms sent to earth to enslave us whilst mocking us.